A Double Wedding

Michael asked: I am attending a black tie wedding in early June.  I have my own tuxedo from 1998 when I married--and yes, with a slight alteration, it fits.  It's double breasted with cuffs.  Can I still wear a double breasted tux in 2012 and not fear arrest by the fashion police?  Thanks.

First of all, Michael, let me throw you some serious kudos for being able to still fit into a tux you wore nearly 15 years ago with only "slight alterations."  Well done, sir.  Secondly, not only can you still wear a double breasted tux, but you just dang-well should. The DB is back in a serious way and has even made its way back to the Red Carpet world (see below).  The only thing I might suggest is to take a look at some modern DB tuxes and notice the fit.  Given yours is from the 90s, it might not hurt to do some additional alterations such as slimming down the pants, shortening the rise, and perhaps bringing the cuffs of the jacket up a bit to show off a little more shirt sleeve.  With a slight update, you won't merely avoid a fashion citation, but you're sure to be the envy of all those younger attendees still slouching around the punch table afraid to hit the dance floor.

Thanks so much for the question, Michael, I hope this helps! And for the rest of you out there, remember you can send all your style queries to the MoG by clicking on the Ask a Gentleman tab above. Cheers!

Your Face Called. It's Tired of the Abuse.

The Single Most Important Tool in Your Shaving Kit is the One That Helps You Keep Your Blood Where It Belongs

 If you're easily distracted like me, or perhaps just prone to frequent bouts with unsteady hands, you've undoubtedly had the misfortune of slicing into your delicate man face with your safety razor a time or two. You realize it as soon as you've done it. I little pinch....and then the first drop. In the water and shaving cream it almost looks like it won't be all that horrific. And then the flood gates burst open--spewing forth half a pint of blood in less than a second from a nick usually no bigger than pin prick. Your next move? Scrambling for a tissue, ice cube, roll of gauze, bed sheet...anything to stop the seemingly eternal gusher. Hours later, you stroll into work with those tiny bits of plasma-soaked tissue corners on your face, avoiding anything so much as a bump on the elevator that could restart the flood tide. But you've managed to cheat Death himself this morning.....for now.

However, there is good news, gents, in the form of perhaps the cheapest exsanguination-preventing tool on the market--the STYPTIC PENCIL.  Running about $2 at your nearest Wal-Mart (or around $10 for the fancy-but-probably-worth-it Art of Shaving model), this seemingly insignificant, chalk-looking miracle uses a antihemorrhagic agent to essentially close nicks quickly and stop bleeding.  And it works exceptionally.  Slice yourself a good one? Calmly reach for your styptic pencil, run some water on the end, apply on your cut, and be amazed as it halts the Niagara Falls pouring from your sensitive face arteries.  

So go grab you one quick. I promise it's sure to be one of the best investments for the sake of your face you'll ever make. I mean, let's be honest...you never know when a shaving disaster could strike. You want to be ready:

How to Avenge the Earth, and Look Killer Doing It

Three Style Do's and One Transgression I picked up from The Avengers

So if you haven't seen The Avengers yet, I'm certain nothing I can relate here can even scratch the surface of the ridicule your friends are giving you right now. I'll spare you the speech...because I care. I won't use the word "epic" or "must-see" or "you're an absolute braincase if you haven't seen this four times in both 3D and 2D".......I'll leave all that to your coworkers and little sister who is so cooler than you right now.......but come on, man, you REALLY need to see this movie.

That being...un-said, I give you the three style lessons every gentleman can steal from the super-powered heroes of Marvel's latest triumph....that is, if you can catch them between the most incredible battle sequences modern cinema has ever delivered.

1. Tony Stark's Business Casual
Obviously if you have the swagger, paycheck, and genius of international playboy Tony Stark, you're bound to have some of the most kickin' wardrobe choices this side of a jet-propelled suit of iron. Tony's field jacket/shirt and tie combo that appears near the middle of the film (pictured above) is simply perfect for his personality and, even better, fitted impeccably to his arc-reactor-fed physique. Play with dark color combinations like this for a business casual look gives off a vibe of effortless cool with a hint of classic RDJ narcissism.

2.  Cap's Leather Jacket

I know, I know, this picture is actually from the original Captain America movie and not Avengers.  But the truth is, I like this one better, and Cap actually wears one very similar in this film while riding an absolutely sick motorbike off into the sunset.  Nothing says American tough guy like a beat-to-heck leather bomber.

3. The Most Obvious of All
The third style lesson to be learned from this film is simple--steal Thor's beard.  If you can, that is.  And heck, steal the dude's killer mane if you can pull it off too.  And his biceps. If you're gonna go in, go all Norse-god-style in.

The Don'tki

In case any of you out there read that Thor hair comment and were contemplating of going a step further to rip off another character's....uh, unique look.....don't.  I speak, of course, of super villain Loki and his dangerously flippy Greaser 'do that certainly, if nothing else, drives home the idea that he is undoubtedly not of this world. If you're going to draw some hair-spiration from this film, definitely consider ripping off the Cap's classically dapper coif. It might be old fashioned, but it's a look that all the 40s girls will be sure to marvel at....Gentleman! Assemble!  Ok, sorry, I'm done. Go see this movie.  Cheers.  

A (Gentle)Man's Best Friend

Alright, it's time for "the Talk." [deep breath] 

You see, when a husband and wife love each other very, very much and they've been together for a good bit...they begin to want something they can pour their love into together--which will in turn make their love for each other blossom exponentially....big word?....ok--uh, a whole bunch.  So, they plan, and they wait, and they plan, and they wait for just the right moment when the time is right and Mother Nature smiles upon them.  And then, a beautiful thing happens.  One day, the husband comes home to an excited wife and wonderful news.  She can barely contain her joy as she jumps into her husband's arms and exclaims, "Our family is about to get a new addition!!"  The "Daddy" falls into his favorite chair and examines the stick his wife gives him.  He looks at it for a long moment, before putting into the USB port of his laptop and pulling up the picture of their newly adopted puppy.  And then, just 9 days later, a brand new bundle-of-happiness bounds around the house--spreading fur and laughter to his sleep-deprived parents as they watch blissfully from their plastic-encased sofa. 

At least....that's how it happened for me--as I assume it also happened to some of my good friends who recently decided to make the jump from Newlyweds to Pet-parenthood.  It's a game-changer for sure, (obviously not as severe as an actual child, but good training nonetheless) and anyone who has ever owned a dog can attest, the friendship that can develop between a gentleman and his canine companion is nothing short of inspiring and unforgettable.

Most of you, if you've visited this site before or merely by chance happened upon any of it's C-rate Youtube videos, are familiar with my dog Mwenzi (Swahili for "Friend" and "Travel Companion"; pictured left).  The good Dr. Mwenzi (see video) is currently only 10 months old--and yet his absolutely contagious energy and curiosity continues to be a source of undeniable hilarity for both my wife and I, and my students whom he often visits for P.E. class.

Now, I know this is an extremely odd post and one that is quite frankly uncharacteristic of this blog at large.  But here's my point: A gentleman's dog can be one of the most loyal and brave companions of his life.  One that will grow up with his children, protect his family from harm, and comfort them in times of greatest need.  One that will faithfully stand beside him through the best of times, the worst of times, and all those in between....unless he spots a squirrel...then he'll BRB.  

So if you require further proof, here's some historical examples masterfully designed to cause you to sob uncontrollably and cuddle every dog in your immediate area:

So if you don't have a loving ball of fur waiting for you at home, start Googling now and pick out your new best friend.  Choose a breed that's right for you--hyper, grumpy, lazy, stubborn, you name it.  Oh, and whatever you do, be sure to avoid the horrible mistake of tagging your dog with a mindlessly deficient name.  Be a blasted grown man and give your dog a name he can be proud of.  Try great historical figures, folk heroes, or a classic blues musician (Satchmo from White Collar, anyone?).  Any way you cut it, Cuddles, Nibbles, Yoshi, or Dog are just infallible evidence of your stupidity as a human.

Your Arms Broken?? Make That Skinny Tie Yourself!

Two Ways to Rock a DIY Slim Tie Without Dropping Unnecessary Cheddar
By now you've probably noticed that those bib-sized, paisley monstrosities still found around the necks of nearly every high school principal in the nation have come to a much-anticipated and rejoiced demise.  The slim tie now reigns supreme, and for good reason.  It's sleek, understated, less of an area to spill coffee on, and undeniably sophisticated when paired with a polished tie bar.  And yet, what is one to do now with all those discarded and neglected fat ties?  The memories, the investments, the still beautiful patterns...should the Goodwill bin be their final resting place?  I think not.

Which is why I propose a tie resurrection--a reincarnation if you are so inclined.  Why not take those timeless patterns and transform them into modern works of sartorial art?  ....Well, I can't think of any reason why not either, so check this out:

1. The Way of Transformation

The first time I saw this article, I nearly wet myself at the thought of the possibilities.  No sewing machine, No experience, No vocational training required--just follow the steps and turn any of those old vintage ties (or $2 ones from Goodwill like the one I used) into strikingly unique swagger.  I've done this on several ties so far (with the help of my incredibly crafty and patient wife) and they've each turned out remarkably grand.  In fact you can see the transformation of my tie in the above picture from the $3 fat, Goodwill version on the right.

2.  The Way of Creation

The method as discussed here, in contrast to the first, is a little more labor intensive/mucho experience required, but can produce some incredibly slick results.  In short, this article tells you how to create your own skinny tie from whatever fabric you desire--more intelligent design than the evolution above, I suppose. But if you happen to be that guy or have good connections with a seamstress you could be rocking some seriously one-of-a-kind neck-wear in no time!  Just be sure to tell your grandmother before you swipe her Hobby Lobby gift card.

Bless Me Fashion, For I Have Sinned

The MoG series that presents modern style atrocities and attempts to articulate their hideousness in merely one (usually run-on) sentence.

"So then my BF says 'We should both wear these and be the talk of the beach,' which is apparently moron-code for sympathetic sunbathers stopping by to marvel at the technological wonder of my IBM-colored prosthetic feet......so, what's your excuse?"

A Gentleman's Role Models

I've had them all my life.  My idols, heroes, influences--a literal list of gentleman, both fictional and real, that have inspired me to become the man I am today. In fact, it's an important aspect of any refined man's existence to draw inspiration and encouragement from those elder, wiser, and more powerful than he.  And so, without further dithering about, I give you my role models over the years--those of my past, those I currently subscribe to, and those that I wish to be like as I race forth into the unknown that is middle age and beyond...

(Click on image to enlarge)