Dunhill Biometric Wallet, $825
Included Features:
- Comes in Black
- Exterior made of highly durable carbon fiber
- Guaranteed to be the most uncomfortable thing you've ever sat on (genuine leather Preparation H wipe holder included inside)
- Opens ONLY by the touch of your personal fingerprint (or an axe-murderer using your finger)
- Can be linked to Bluetooth so an ear-piercing alarm sounds if you get more than 15ft. away from your wallet (such as say--taking a call in your living room bottomless with your wallet still in your pants)
- Soft, welcoming leather interior that gives your credit cards the comfort your butt wish it had
- Roughly twice as expensive and inconvenient as carrying around a 4ft. fireproof safe attached to a 150 lb. dumbbell
- The satisfaction in knowing that even if a thief does decide to snatch your wallet, he will be unpleasantly surprised that after hours of toiling with a blowtorch your wallet is indeed empty due to the fact any money that would have possibly been stored within was blown on the apparatus in which it was to be kept.
- It is, however, remarkably cooler than the alternative:
But if the price doesn't make this decision easy enough, you could always combine the advice of the modern style world at large and your Korean War Vet grandfather. The style world would suggest a simple, durable but inexpensive genuine leather model that, if cared for properly, will last a lifetime. My grandfather, on the other hand, suggests that if you're so paranoid on your way to work, invest in a 2 cent piece of string and tie your billfold to your underwear.
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