Which One Do I Bloody Fasten?!

Anonymous asked: Emergency tux question! Two button jackets: button both or just the top?

The realm of suit jacket button etiquette is perhaps one of the most enigmatic concepts in modern style. To be honest, I do not believe there is a single more frequently asked sartorial query in the solar system--causing a shameful reflection as to why I haven't touched on this earlier, as well as a formulating hypothesis that a working knowledge of nuclear fusion might be more attainable to many men than this conundrum.

Nevertheless, the answer my friends, is simple. Let me impart some wisdom I gained many years ago from a much wiser and stylish man than myself. Remember: S-A-N. Sometimes-Always-Never. The absolute fool-proof method of remembering the proper way to fasten a suit jacket. Here's my homemade illustration:

Of course, with a two button jacket, it is simply Always and Never. One button....Always. Now go out and face the world with confidence (and with this handy cut-out reminder graphic in your back pocket if needed). And of course, in the off chance a spell of amnesia hits and you forget your handy mnemonic, you'll be tossing the jacket once the dance floor opens up anyway. In that case, the only buttons you need be concerned with being fastened, are the ones on your trousers.