Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Which One Do I Bloody Fasten?!

Anonymous asked: Emergency tux question! Two button jackets: button both or just the top?

The realm of suit jacket button etiquette is perhaps one of the most enigmatic concepts in modern style. To be honest, I do not believe there is a single more frequently asked sartorial query in the solar system--causing a shameful reflection as to why I haven't touched on this earlier, as well as a formulating hypothesis that a working knowledge of nuclear fusion might be more attainable to many men than this conundrum.

Nevertheless, the answer my friends, is simple. Let me impart some wisdom I gained many years ago from a much wiser and stylish man than myself. Remember: S-A-N. Sometimes-Always-Never. The absolute fool-proof method of remembering the proper way to fasten a suit jacket. Here's my homemade illustration:

Of course, with a two button jacket, it is simply Always and Never. One button....Always. Now go out and face the world with confidence (and with this handy cut-out reminder graphic in your back pocket if needed). And of course, in the off chance a spell of amnesia hits and you forget your handy mnemonic, you'll be tossing the jacket once the dance floor opens up anyway. In that case, the only buttons you need be concerned with being fastened, are the ones on your trousers.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

MOG Instructionals #3

The 3rd segment in the "MoG Instructionals" video series:  
How to Tie a Bow Tie from a Regular Necktie 
(without cutting or sewing)
With Music From:
Wolfmother
The Black Angels
Daft Punk
The Brian Jonestown Massacre

Friday, March 9, 2012

You Wouldn't Hit A Guy With Glasses Would You?

(LEFT) Behind the Scenes of the making of the M.O.G.'s newest Instructional video--Look for it next week!

I remember the burning passion with which I wanted them like it was yesterday.  Enough days sitting too close to the television, a couple of cross-eyed faces that might stick, and I'd be in a pair of glasses in no time--just like my 3rd grade best friend.  His glasses had instantly elevated him up the social ranking of elementary school like winning the lottery in a soup kitchen, and I was determined to keep up.  Unfortunately, I was horrible at purposefully failing eye exams  and my corrective lens days would have to wait until junior high.

And so it is now after decades of yearly eye exams and contact lenses that I have finally come to a startling revelation--my face is unfathomably long. And shamefully, beardless. I'm afraid the unremarkable nature of it may actually be tiresome on the eyes of the general public to travel over until you get to the rest of my lanky exterior.  With no epically styled Abbey Road-esque facial hair and no real hope of ever achieving such a level of manliness in this lifetime, I find myself in a situation at times where I need to punch up the whole face part of my look.  One option is to follow Mike Tyson's example.  Another, is a new pair of solid frames.

 As the gentlemen above more than adequately illustrate, a slick pair of frames accomplish the total opposite of making you look like a "square", they make you look like a blasted genius--smarter, more confident, in control. Simple as that.  Use them to mix it up, whether it's everyday or just when your look needs an extra shot of chutzpah in the morning.  And don't shy away from it. Go BOLD with your frames, and let others admire the effortless swagger with which you pull them off.

As for me, my wife's still getting used to them.  They're a big change--and here's to hoping I have enough swagger of my own to rock them appropriately.  What do you think?  Let me know in the comments and I'll see you all next week!  Until then, Cheers. 

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

A Gentleman Defends The Innocent

Please take a moment and watch this incredibly powerful video from Invisible Children, and help make this psychopathic monster pay for his crimes against the beautiful children of Africa.

KONY 2012 from INVISIBLE CHILDREN on Vimeo.