Remember, Remember The Stache of Movember

"You trying to grow a goatee or something? What's up with all that on your face?"

The words pierce like steak knives recently marinated in lemon juice. Every. Time. And I mean every bloody time since my first peach-fuzz whisker triumphantly crawled his way out onto my upper lip that I've decided to forego the razor for even just a few days--I get the same response. "What's all this you got going on?" the scoffer says pointing to his face of remarkably even and coarse beard hair that only partially masks the wicked, condescending smile lurking beneath.

I'm going to be completely honest with you: I suffer from what many professionals have deemed "patchy beard syndrome" or PBS. It looks alright for the first few days after shaving as it deceivingly appears to be coming in as nice full stubble--but it's all trickery. By day four or five, it all takes an ugly and shameful detour into the land of defined mutton chops and mustache without the accompanying connectors to make the entire beard pull together as one. In short, the full beard I'm afraid, while something I long to make a part of my daily sartorial statement as a gruff, manly warrior, will elude me perhaps until the days I can transplant some hair from my ears and eyebrows at around birthday 85.

But that doesn't mean MOVEMBER is off the table.

So if you haven't heard the hype, Movember (and the accompanying No-Shave November) is a campaign designed to bring awareness, raise funds, and start serious real-life conversations with everyday guys about a number of men's health issues--the chiefest of which are prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and male depression. Every year, men from around the globe launch themselves out into the great unknown of facial hair growth in an incredibly dapper and compassionate gesture with the ultimate goal of keeping manliness alive and well. And until recently, I had no idea that my very own father is one of them--growing a glorious family stache for a charity donation at his place of employment.

So obviously, with the patriarch of the family leading the way, I believe I finally have the push I need to stay the course and finish strong this year. I shaved on November 1st, but now only a few days in, I'm feeling some doubts. Here they are:
  1. I work at an elementary school. I feel a trash stache is a little out of the question if I'd like to keep my job and not seriously concern some parents.
  2. As I've said before the full beard option is beyond my grasp.
  3. I'm far too young to sport a goatee.
  4. I'm far too conscious of personal hygiene to grow mutton chops.
But I'm going to do something. I've registered for the campaign at Movember.com (which you should too) in order to tell myself I can't back out. But I'm at a bit of a loss. What is a gentleman in my position supposed to do? Pony up and trash stache it up? I honestly have no clue.....but in another effort to keep myself from backing out, here's a picture of my current growth to date:

See what I'm saying? Not alot going on.  But for a great cause, I'll stick it out.  And I promise to share at least one update photo to this post before I shave the disgrace-to-manliness off come December.

For those of you who can and are growing some rocking facial hair for Movember, I applaud you!  Keep it up through the scraggly phase and start those conversations!  Or if you're staying clean shaven this November, at least consider donating or hosting an event to help spread the word.  And if you have any ideas on what kind of Movember-supporting facial hair designs I could attempt, please do let me know.

Blessings and Happy Movember,
 






P.S. This is the 100th POST on the Mark of a Gentleman blog! My greatest thanks for those of you who've stuck it out with me thus far.  More to come.  Much love!

UPDATE:  Week 2
  
Week 3 (actually had some students ask me if I was growing a beard this week!)
FINAL RESULT:

So, as predicted, my final beard result was indeed patchy and kind of wiry near the end there, yet I stand by my decision and have no regrets!  In fact in a bizarre plot twist, my wife actually didn't want me to shave it off.  But alas, the time had come to either commit to the gnarliness of it all or revert back to my tried and true.....

Well, with perhaps a slight pit stop on the way in Stacheland!!
Oh dear this is gloriously hideous.  In fact the lady of the house refused to look at me or do anything other than scream "Take it off or I will!" until I did just that.  Still....was good to have the classic Mo' for just a bit while off from school (where I certainly would have been fired on the spot should I had tried to teach elementary school kids like this....and rightfully so.)

Hope your Movember was a great one, dear readers.  

Cheers!

2 comments:

  1. You're so funny. I say, stick it out and see what happens! If you are rocking something too creepy for elementary school, maybe you could wear, like, a Movember mustache pin on a lapel or something as a disclaimer? Haha. I don't know! 1 problem I don't have as a lady is figuring out how to shape my facial hair. ;)

    P.S. I didn't know you worked at an elementary school! I am doing my student teaching right now! :)

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    1. Haha! Perhaps a Disclaimer Pendant is just what I need regardless of which hideously patchy option I choose. And yes, I'm a computer teacher for K-4. Good luck on student teaching.....I remember the sleepless nights well.

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