Get Jewelry with a War Story

It is a proven fact, in my opinion, that you could arrive at a public gathering wearing a floor-length fox fur coat, a purple pinstriped silk suit with Armani slippers, sport a gold tooth and Ray-Bans and only receive awkward glances and the occasional comment.  However, if you (or in the above mentioned instance, Snoop Dogg) throw a vintage timepiece into the out! (pun intended)  The compliments and envy seem to explode from the attendees like someone had informed them that you could personally introduce them to Lady Gaga.  Why?  Because no matter what else you are wearing, people, like bright-eyed 2nd graders with ADHD, are always drawn to the shine, the accessories--the things that can really tell you a lot about the person with whom you are interacting.

So, like many of us in the early-twenties search for an identity phase, I too wished to encapsulate this power into something unique and specific.  The kind of thing people look at and go, "Look at that elephant tooth around that guy's, he would really be a fantastic person to have in our friend group! So unique! He's lucky because we just kicked saber-toothed tiger bracelet guy out of our clique last week."

I began trying everything.  Each trip to a new, exotic place found me scouring the hotel gift shops for the only souvenir that mattered--a piece of undeniable originality in a sea of bracelets made by small Asian hands thousands of miles away from this particular South American hotel.  I would inevitably buy some, only to wear them for a few weeks, get a few compliments and consistently stumble through some white lie of a story about how I had slain an octopus with my bear hands and pried this ring off its seventh dead tentacle (counting from left to right).  Alas, I'd grow weary of my own story and cast it from me into the now overflowing jewelry dish at the head of my sink.

After years of this, however, my salvation came when I ran across some campaigns online about orphan awareness--an issue very close to my heart.  One such campaign, called Do Ubuntu (or "Do Unto Others") uses the sale of bracelets made by working African mothers to help sustain their families and local orphanages:
  I quickly ordered several as I had been to Africa recently teaching orphans but had never had time to find any souvenirs.  I've worn them ever since.  While my story may not as be impressive as your WWII veteran grandpa who peeled his prized gold watch off of Heinrich Himmler himself, it gives me pride that my adornments have a purpose....a war story....a cause.

So the next time you huff more paint than usual and find yourself walking into an Abercrombie to clear your palate with their oh-so-refreshing aroma of chlorine gas with a pinch of le douchedom, steer clear of the leather and suede adorned atrocity of a jewelry rack.  Get some meaning behind your jewelry, be it watches, bracelets, or necklaces.  The right investment today means you have something of a legacy to pass down to your kids, or if you don't like them, then your grand-kids or a stranger on Ebay.  Give your man jewelry the kahunas you wish you had--with a legacy....a war story for the next generation.


  1. Excellent, I like to keep my accessories pretty simple as well. About all you will catch on me is my climbing gear necklace, and the occasional watch when the "time" calls for it.