Seriously...Are You "That" Guy?

A friend and I were talking the other day about a painfully gauche male classmate of hers that is currently enrolled in a "Women and Gender" graduate class at our local university.  While this individual's mere presence in such a class is the subject of some debate, his ridiculously uncouth comments are unanimously loathed by all attendees, male and female--none more so than the fact that he prefaces every one of his pompously misogynistic questions with the phrase, "I don't wanna be THAT guy, but..."

I think all of you will agree with my friend when she said: If you have to preface everything you say with such a are most definitely "that" guy.

But apart from the obvious fact of being a repugnant, self-proclaimed MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig), how is one to ultimately tell if they are indeed a member of a masculine group so foul that it may only be described with a singular demonstrative adjective?  Well, luck for you, I've constructed this short quiz to assist you in such a soul searching:
  1. I frequently flood the Facebook news feed with pictures like this one for all my "bros" to enjoy.
  2. I have been known to initiate arguments with members of the opposite sex that only conclude when I feel I have successfully demonstrated my gender's superiority.
  3. I believe that the perfect "10" woman comes fully equipped with an anatomically impossible, Lara Croft-like physique, as well as a barrage of military weapons, knowledge of housecleaning, cooking, sewing, as well as car and tank mechanics, and an insatiable desire to spend entire months at a time working through the campaign of the latest Medal of Honor.
  4. I pride myself on my ability to "entertain" females with my deeply profound political allegories.  I could just spend a fortnight romancing them with my loving thoughts on Obama's social security reforms.
  5. I took Home Ec in high school because that's where all the chicks were.  They couldn't keep their hands off me once they discovered I'd let them cook and clean my house for free.

Congratulations! If you answered, YES, TRUE, or SOMETIMES to any or all of the above questions, you are THAT guy!  Thank you for playing!


  1. Mang!! That was dope. Yo check it. I hate it when guys do all of the above. HAHAHA. Song of Solomon baby is way to go. Your girlfriend or wife is not your slave... By any means... Its her life let her live it. Dont try belittle her. I hate sexism, Women are gifts and should be treated as such. No exception. This should be at the end of your quiz....