A (Gentle)Man's Best Friend

Alright, it's time for "the Talk." [deep breath

You see, when a husband and wife love each other very, very much and they've been together for a good bit...they begin to want something they can pour their love into together--which will in turn make their love for each other blossom exponentially....big word?....ok--uh, a whole bunch.  So, they plan, and they wait, and they plan, and they wait for just the right moment when the time is right and Mother Nature smiles upon them.  And then, a beautiful thing happens.  One day, the husband comes home to an excited wife and wonderful news.  She can barely contain her joy as she jumps into her husband's arms and exclaims, "Our family is about to get a new addition!!"  The "Daddy" falls into his favorite chair and examines the stick his wife gives him.  He looks at it for a long moment, before putting into the USB port of his laptop and pulling up the picture of their newly adopted puppy.  And then, just 9 days later, a brand new bundle-of-happiness bounds around the house--spreading fur and laughter to his sleep-deprived parents as they watch blissfully from their plastic-encased sofa. 

At least....that's how it happened for me--as I assume it also happened to some of my good friends who recently decided to make the jump from Newlyweds to Pet-parenthood.  It's a game-changer for sure, (obviously not as severe as an actual child, but good training nonetheless) and anyone who has ever owned a dog can attest, the friendship that can develop between a gentleman and his canine companion is nothing short of inspiring and unforgettable.

Most of you, if you've visited this site before or merely by chance happened upon any of it's C-rate Youtube videos, are familiar with my dog Mwenzi (Swahili for "Friend" and "Travel Companion"; pictured left).  The good Dr. Mwenzi (see video) is currently only 10 months old--and yet his absolutely contagious energy and curiosity continues to be a source of undeniable hilarity for both my wife and I, and my students whom he often visits for P.E. class.

Now, I know this is an extremely odd post and one that is quite frankly uncharacteristic of this blog at large.  But here's my point: A gentleman's dog can be one of the most loyal and brave companions of his life.  One that will grow up with his children, protect his family from harm, and comfort them in times of greatest need.  One that will faithfully stand beside him through the best of times, the worst of times, and all those in between....unless he spots a squirrel...then he'll BRB.  

So if you require further proof, here's some historical examples masterfully designed to cause you to sob uncontrollably and cuddle every dog in your immediate area:

So if you don't have a loving ball of fur waiting for you at home, start Googling now and pick out your new best friend.  Choose a breed that's right for you--hyper, grumpy, lazy, stubborn, you name it.  Oh, and whatever you do, be sure to avoid the horrible mistake of tagging your dog with a mindlessly deficient name.  Be a blasted grown man and give your dog a name he can be proud of.  Try great historical figures, folk heroes, or a classic blues musician (Satchmo from White Collar, anyone?).  Any way you cut it, Cuddles, Nibbles, Yoshi, or Dog are just infallible evidence of your stupidity as a human.


3 comments:

  1. I have two new puppies, Dagny and Bilbo. This blog maybe random to you but it is totally relevant to my life right now. Great article, Blake. As I write this, Biblo is sleeping on my arm and Dagny is sleeping on my foot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, my friend! That means a great deal.

      Delete
  2. We have a weenie dog named Marie Curie. I detest mindlessly deficient names as well.

    ReplyDelete