Your Wallet Just Got Jealous

"But it's a Fossil!" replied my friend, with an increasing air of disbelief in his own argument, "that means it's...it's good."  The realization of the true rash nature of his impulsive purchase had truly begun to register as he slid the monstrously thick, solidly packed millstone into the back pocket of his trousers and timidly sat down--lopsided on the chair opposite me.  "See now I never have to worry about my left side being--crap, who am I kidding?"

I've long been a proponent of wallets with a personality.  However, along with a charming demeanor, a wallet should be slim enough to ensure you don't slide off bar stools with your 45-degree-sloped buttocks and durable enough to last long enough to pass onto your grandchildren (or at least reasonably proportional to how much you threw down for it).  Unfortunately, the atrocious-looking wads of leather made from half a herd of Wisconsin livestock you find in your local Fossil outlet do little else than illicit concerns from passing physicians as to the tumorous growth on your right glute cheek.

So it was with these strong convictions that I recently acquired (through a generous donation from my wife), an exceptionally cool, Mighty Wallet (pictured above...and yes, I did opt for the Star Trek OS one because I am a super nerd and that show is legit!).  Made from a randomly interwoven plastic that gives it the appearance and feel of paper, the people over at Dynomighty have created a "paper" wallet that is both tear and water-resistant, can last up to 3 years or more, and comes in a endless variety of prints from classic comic books to a map of the London Underground--all for $15.  Not to mention, they are literally as light as whatever you put into them, and equally as slim.  I believe, my friends, it is safe to say, I am in love.
But just in case you find yourself unable or unwilling to part with that cyst-causing paperweight in your back pocket, at least do yourself a favor and invest in a slim leather card case for those occasions when you'd like your slim suit, dress pants, or jeans to be free of any attention-drawing bulges.  You can opt for the pricey Coach version above ($48) or grab one of these for less than $5.  In fact, even though my everyday wallet is equally slim, I keep one of these handy for the more elegant evenings out with the wife.  Throw in your ID, your debit card, and a five for parking and you'll be equally as ready to hit the town as your Fossil-obsessed counterparts who've brought their entire financial and medical history with them inside their 8-inch, back-pocket briefcases.

6 comments:

  1. I have a small bifold elephant skin I use for everyday wear, and a longer actual wallet that I use with suits. I usually keep it in the coat pocket. I also have a croc skin wallet where I keep any foreign folding money that I gather on travel. Bought the lot from a CITES certified "leatherer" in South Africa. Good chap, still sends me Christmas cards.

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  2. I have a feeling that in certain animal circles you may be herald as the bearer of the spirits and mummified (jerkied) bodies of the Ancestors.

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  3. One important thing that is desired in a wallet is either one that meets the FIPS-201 security standard or you need insets that meet that standard. Thanks to the RFID chips installed in almost every ID, debit/credit card and passport thieves just need you to walk by with a simple leather wallet. Getting pick pocketed without anyone touching you shouldn’t be a mark of a 21st century gentleman.

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  4. @Greg - I'm the designer of the Mighty Wallet.

    There is an opening that goes through the Mighty Wallet where you can slip in a single sheet (or doubled sheet) of aluminum that will give you all the RFID protection you will need without increasing the thickness of the Mighty Wallet that much. I'll make a video and post it tomorrow on YouTube.

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  5. @ Terrence Kelleman. Just FYI it is because of this Blog that I am buying one of your amazing products.

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  6. Not to get to Nostalgic but the Apollo wallet hit home. My great uncle built the radios for all the Apollo missions so.... I will be ordering that one asap.

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